And no, I am not going to post any pictures. I know I know, what's a blog post without pics? Well, I guess I'll give you one, but not of breastfeeding...
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| Princess's blessing day pictures, December 2009 |
There are many, oh so many, women out there that feel that breastfeeding is the only way to feed your baby. That if you don't breastfeed, you're dooming your child to a life of low immunity, high obesity chances, and abandonment issues. Okay, I know this is the very extreme viewpoint, but I digress. It is a very real ideal, believe me.
I have always been a big supporter of breastfeeding. I have also had MAJOR issues with breastfeeding both my children. If you don't already know, nursing is hard. Really hard. For some women it does come very naturally and easily, but I am not one of those women. I wanted so badly to be able to nurse my babies! I remember with Studley trying to nurse him almost constantly, but knowing he was not getting enough to eat. Watching him fuss and cry and try so hard to get something to eat was so heart-wrenching. It was so hard for me to have to admit defeat.
With both my children, I was only able to breastfeed until they were about four months old. And every time I went to feed them from a bottle instead of nurse them I felt judged. I felt like all the other moms that saw my child eating from a bottle were looking down on me for the horrible decision I made to feed my child that horrible f-word... formula. I hated that feeling! I just wanted to shout, "I tried! I tried with everything I had to nurse my baby!"
I guess all I want to put out there is that its okay. If you can and want to nurse your baby until they're four, its okay. If you don't ever want anything attached to your chest, its okay. If you want to try it out to see if it works for you, its okay. If it doesn't end up working out for you, its okay. YOU are the mama, YOU are one with the miracle body that created your beautiful child. YOU are capable of making the best decisions for your baby, and YOU know your own abilities.
Whew! That feels good. :)
What about you? How do you feel about breastfeeding?
Amen, sister! I am so continually frustrated by how polarized people get over SO many aspects of pregnancy/childbirth/parenting, and breastfeeding is at the top of that list. I am hoping to be able to nurse our little one part-time, but I know that it's not in either of our best interests for me to sacrifice my health to pursue that ideal, and it makes me crazy that people are so judgmental about it all. (On both sides of the fence, too!) Sheri Dew has a fantastic quote that says something about how she often wonders if one of Satan's biggest successes is in turning women against each other, and I think about that idea often. I think we'd all be so much happier, more at peace, more confident in our decisions, and more able to love and serve each other if we could just trust each other and accept that we are all making the best possible choices for our lives.
ReplyDeleteSo I say, way to go for doing what was right for you and your kids! ;) And for what it's worth, my mom with her first 3 kids was a MAJOR breastfeeding advocate - very anti-formula/bottles. With the triplets, she pumped for them for the first few weeks because they were such preemies, but it was just way too hard on her physically and she eventually stopped and switched them to formula. She says that the ONLY difference she ever noticed in her formula fed babies (who were micro preemies!) was that they got teeth later. They were perfectly healthy, still had very good immunity, were very bonded to her, and didn't have colic/fussiness/any of the other problems people tend to speak doom & gloom about.
I love that quote by Sheri Dew! It definitely has made me think twice in many situations and helped me realize that EVERY situation is different. Women need to buoy each other up and lend support to one another, despite their differences in opinion, abilities and stage of life. Thanks for your comment, Cindy!
DeleteStephanie Ohsiek (now Mitchell) made a great point to me once while I was venting about how I didn't want to let Graham cry-it-out but I wasn't getting any sleep despite months of attempting "no-cry" solutions. She told me that the baby's needs are important, yes, but the baby is also part of a family, and the ultimate goal should be doing what's best for the family. I think the same principle applies here. If breastfeeding works for the family's situation--then you should try to make it work. If it requires inordinate amounts of sacrifice and pain that ultimately make the mother less capable (because of stress, exhaustion, emotional burnout, etc.) of being a good mom in other areas--then thank goodness for formula! Nutrition is just one part of a baby's well-being. Yes, breastmilk is best ... but not if it comes at the expense of numerous other important things. Good for you for trying to nurse as long as you did--and good for you for knowing when formula would work best for your situation!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree with you more, Kimber!
DeleteSometimes breastfeeding comes at the cost of the well-being of the mother, and in turn, the rest of the family. There is always a delicate balance in the world of 'mommying' that requires us to find solutions (albeit not always popular ones) that work for our family. I applaud- and even envy- the mom's who make nursing work. Isn't Stephanie so wise? I love reading her blog and hearing from her mom the wonderful things she's doing!
Were you able to nurse Graham for the full first year?
I'm still nursing Graham! He loves it and it isn't inconvenient for me (though weaning is in the very near future) and he's small for his age so I figure every little bit helps.
DeleteI love breastfeeding and it comes naturally for me, but I hate the judgment that moms pass on each other! I feel weird for nursing past 6 months since it's pretty uncommon, and I've often felt guilty over the fact that it's so easy for me. I consider it a blessing to nurse as long as I do, but I definitely don't blame anyone for using formula. No matter what we do, I think we'll always wonder if we could have done it differently/better.
ReplyDeleteI consider your ability to nurse for as long as you can a HUGE blessing also! There is no need to feel guilty about the gifts we've been given.
DeleteIts true we will always wonder if we've done enough, but I believe we've been given that extra sense- that 'mother's intuition' if you will- to know what is best for our children and for our families.
Thank you for commenting, Sacha! I always enjoy hearing your opinion!
The funny thing to me about the whole pregnancy/childbirth/parenting debate is that the people that I felt the most judged by were the nurses/doctors at the hospital! I hope that we as moms can cut each other the slack of knowing that all our situations are different and that with all of the differences in our situations, there is not one "right" way to do things. What is right is what works for you, and what works in one situation (even in your own family) doesn't always work in another. Let's just all agree that we're all doing the best we know how, even if your best isn't the same as someone else's. After all, who could we ask for advice when our way isn't working if everyone else did it the same way?
ReplyDeleteI totally know what you mean, Alesia! While in the hospital with Princess, I found out that I need to know what I want with my child and not be afraid to ask for it!
DeleteI, too, hope we can find a way to cut each other some slack and remember that everyone is in a different stage, with different needs and desires.
The whole breastfeeding debate has really opened my eyes to different views on MANY mommy-related topics. I've been taught over and over again that there is no one 'right' way to do things, and I am really grateful for that!
I don't see where ANYONE has a right to Judge any Mom for not being able to BREAST FEED. When Heather was born I yearn to hold my little angle so close while having that special moment during Breast feeding. I DID NOT GET THAT FOR MEDICAL REASONS ON HER PART. DO ALLOW OTHERS TO CONTROL YOUR HAPPINESS. It's you will your hubby &I family that Matters.
ReplyDeleteYou're totally right, Aunt Pam. Thanks for that insight! :)
DeleteI'm like Sacha. Still nursing Brekan and he is 11 months old. Although I have to admit that about a month ago I broke down and got a pump because I couldn't handle the biting any longer. After 2 months of getting bit every time I nursed I just couldn't take it any more. I had shed enough tears and finally gave in to pumping and giving him a bottle. Not sure why it took me so long to realize I could just pump. I guess it was some sort of invisible pressure I was putting on myself to keep nursing. I had to prove to myself I could do it....or something. SO glad to be giving him a bottle now. And although I have loved breastfeeding, I can not tell you how excited I am to be done in the next month so I can finally have my body completely back to myself! For those who formula feed though, you go! It makes you no less of a good mother:)
ReplyDeleteIts funny that even when its easy to breastfeed, there is still plenty of conflict!
DeleteI'm glad to hear how you feel about formula though... I feel the same way. Although, I am just a leeetle bit jealous that you were able to nurse for so long! :)
Thanks so much for your comments, Jaclyn! I love hearing from you.